Guardian Angel
by LightSpirit
Summary: One shot based on 'Back To School'. Smithy has been stabbed and is very frightened; he needs comfort. While in hospital, he gets a visit from who someone who will bring him what he wants. But who is it? Is it just his imagination? Or is it Kerry?


**Guardian Angel**

It has happened; Smithy has been stabbed. He's lying on the grass in the middle of the park; so frightened and all alone. His attacker has made a run for it. He gasps for air and is heavily bleeding from the deep wound to his chest; his colleagues are nowhere in sight and there's no one there to comfort him. He can hear sounds, voices over his radio but they make no sense to him. Then he stops moving; he's still, lying on his side with his eyes barely open staring at the grass. Suddenly the grass is not all he sees - many images appear; images he knows. It's his whole life flashing before him - everything; his hard childhood, his six years in the army, his years as a PC, his two years in SO19 and of course, his five years as a Sergeant. But then the images fade when he hears a voice calling out to him and footsteps running towards him.

"SERGE!!!"

It's Nate. He's found Smithy and can see the blood, but only the blood on his arm. He doesn't know how seriously wounded his Sergeant truly is. He runs straight towards him and puts out an urgent message on his radio. He's obviously worried for his Sergeant, colleague and friend.

"Ambulance required west side Sherbourne park in the rose gardens!"

Nate is soon at Smithy's side. He kneels down and only checks the wound to his arm; he hasn't yet noticed the blood on his chest. He wants to help him.

"Alright serge, you've been stabbed in the arm, looks worse than it is. I'm just going to turn you over ok?"

He rolls him over onto his back and that's when he sees it. Smithy's shirt is stained with blood; his blood. Nate undoes the stab vest, removes the tie, unbuttons the bloodstained shirt Smithy hears Nate's voice and suddenly, more footsteps are heard. It's Ben. Ben sees his colleagues and rushes to help; any other good colleague would do the same.

"Nate?"

He sees the sight of his Sergeant and the same feeling that has already overcome Nate overcomes him. But Nate knows they cannot keep quiet, stay still or run away.

"He's not breathing properly!"

Nate finally sees the wound, instantly knowing the nature and seriousness. He suddenly feels numb with shock and horror; he feels he's to blame for this incident. But is it his fault?

"Give me something flat!"

Ben follows the instructions immediately.

"Yeah, yeah…"

He quickly reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He opens it and sees something flat right away; something anyone should always carry. A credit card; there's more than one, but he knows not to choose which one to use.

"Um… credit card."

He hands it to Nate; Nate takes it right away and uses it for medical purposes. He places it on the wound to Smithy's chest in an effort to stop the heavily bleeding and the frightened young Sergeant from slipping away. They must do more though; much effort is needed to save him until the ambulance arrives.

"Right back on his side, on his side!"

He is rolled back onto his side; the recovery position - an important part of the whole procedure. But Smithy is still gasping for air. Nate and Ben are determined not to lose him; Nate tries comforting him.

"You're going to be alright."

Now that is a phrase Smithy knows too well. It's a phrase he has used before himself when something like this happened, but it usually only happened to people he was close to. He remembered the last time he said those five words for he saw it flash before him again. The murder of 16 year old Carly Samuels flashed before him; a memory that brought him sadness. But there was something else too. Another memory that brought him greater pain than the pain he was feeling now. Another time when he used those five words. The murder of PC Kerry Young took over Carly's murder and flashed before his eyes. Did he not want to die? Was he sure he wanted to survive? The image of him cradling the dying Kerry in his arms faded when he heard the voice of Ben.

"Where's the ambulance? Sierra Oscar from 795, where is the ambulance? Sergeant Smith has been stabbed in the chest."

Smithy can tell his colleagues are worried about him. Ben and Nate are doing what any PC would do when their senior officer is in danger, whatever sort of danger they're in. But he's still bleeding, still gasping for air. Ben and Nate know they cannot heal him. They have no choice but to wait for the ambulance to arrive. The ambulance is still on its way, but Smithy cannot stay conscious forever. His eyes are getting more and more heavy every second; they cannot stay open. Consciousness is leaving him. Nate and Ben try to keep him awake and stop the bleeding, but it's not working. He is now only awake by an eighth, but suddenly he hears a voice - a soft, warm, loving voice that sounds so heavenly yet so familiar. He must be hearing an angel.

"Smithy… Smithy, hang in there. Just hold on, be strong."

His eyes are now closing, but he hears the voice again.

"I love you."

His vision of everything around him is now blurred, but Smithy sees something very clearly. He's sure of it. A figure. A woman; a young woman, who he instantly recognises. Her features, he knows them right away; her golden blonde hair, her sapphire blue eyes, her tanned skin and her beautiful face - the one face he can never forget even if he wanted to. And of course her smile; the smile that always brought him comfort. It's her, he knows it. She's there, smiling at him. She's wearing a long silky white dress and her hair is down over her shoulders. How different she looks. She looks so angelic, so heavenly. She's an angel. Smithy wants to smile back, but he can't. He's too weak, but he's so happy that she's there. She's there with him. He wants more than anything to get back up on his feet, take her in his arms and kiss her. But he can barely move. He wants to say her name, but he can't speak. He is frightened, but her presence is soothing. She comforts him more with her beautiful voice.

"Hold on Smithy, be brave, live… for me."

He wants to please her. He wants her to be happy with whatever he does. But suddenly, her presence is interrupted. The ambulance has arrived. Smithy keeps looking at her, but suddenly she's gone. Where did she go? Why did she leave so suddenly? Smithy decides he cannot remain awake anymore; his eyes finally close. Consciousness has left him, but he's still alive. The paramedics rush to him and he is seen to immediately. Inspector Weston has arrived at the scene and is worried for her Sergeant. He is soon placed on the stretcher, the red blanket is wrapped around him, an oxygen mask is placed over his mouth, he is strapped to the stretcher and wheeled over to the ambulance van. The back doors are opened to get him inside. The Inspector feels she must say a few words herself to him.

"You're in good hands Smithy. I'm coming to the hospital."

He cannot hear her. He is lifted into the van. He is still unconscious. Superintendent Heaton arrives at the scene after hearing of the trauma. He must ask his Inspector, for he does care for his officers.

"What happened?"

She knows she must answer.

"Smithy's been stabbed."

The Superintendent feels the same shock as Nate and Ben and feels he must ask for more details.

"How?"

He is worried too. Smithy is after all one of his best officers. Any good Superintendent would feel the same. Poor Nate is too wrecked with guilt, but he must give an answer.

"I don't know."

Inspector Weston decides to be the one to explain more.

"Smithy and Nate were dealing with a school girl fight."

The officers at the scene can only ask if the brave young Sergeant will be alright. He maybe unconscious, but he is asking a question in his coma. A question that does not refer to what has happened to him. Where is she? Where has she gone? Where is Kerry?

* * *

The ambulance van carries Smithy to St Hugh's Hospital, but he doesn't know where he is. His colleagues are fret with worry. Once he arrives, he is given surgery to heal the wound. The doctors obviously do their work well. His wound is only seen to, not healed. But by the time they are done, he is still alive. He is laid in a hospital bed. He's still unconscious. Drips and a heart monitor is attached to him. The drips will keep his fluids high and the heart monitor will tell if his heart stops or not. A large plaster is on his chest in the middle of his pectoralis major muscles; another next to his neck. A bandage is wrapped around the slash wound on his right arm. A blood pressure cuff is wrapped around his left arm. He is lying very still. His eyes are firmly shut. His chest is moving up and down; he is still breathing. An oxygen tube has been placed in his mouth and down his throat; more oxygen is being breathed into him. It helps him to breathe. He looks so peaceful. There are two ways to describe how he looks. He looks as if he's dead; he looks as if he will wake up at any minute now. All his colleagues are worried. The question they are asking is the same. Will he wake up? Will he pull through? Or will he die? He lay in the bed and the nurse watching him did her duties and check ups. Inspector Weston had kept true to her word of going with him to the hospital. She is in the room with her Sergeant checking on his condition. She's worried. She is a good Inspector and worries for all her officers when any of them are put in danger. She can only stare in at the horrifying sight. But she is not on her own. Another woman is soon standing outside looking in through the glass windows of the door. It's Jo. Jo is there to check up on the victim of the assault in the park, but she decides to check on her colleague first. The Inspector comes and greet her. Jo then asks her questions.

"Is he okay?"

Inspector Weston takes a second to answer the question; she takes a deep breath.

"His lung was punctured so it collapsed."

Jo's obviously worried too. She's one of Smithy's colleagues who has known him for a long time. So she needs to know more.

"Just the lung or anything else?"

The Inspector turns to answer.

"Just the lung."

Jo feels a small twitch of relief. Surely this means what she hopes it does.

"So he'll be okay?"

The Inspector knows there's only one answer to that question; she knows no one can ever predict death.

"They won't say; the fact that he's not dead means he's riding his luck. Let's hope it holds."

Jo then asks about the witness who is also in hospital. Inspector Weston informs her she is still unconscious, but sets her instructions to put uniform outside the girl's house and collect her clothes. Jo leaves to carry out those instructions. The Inspector stays where she is and looks in at her Sergeant through the glass windows. He is still unconscious and so still. The part of him moving is his chest. It's moving up and down, showing he's still breathing. The Inspector only looks at him thinking of the condition he's in, but she doesn't know what he's thinking of.

* * *

Smithy's body is alive and in a coma, but his mind and his soul have sunk into a dream - a dream more wonderful than he could ever imagine. And yet it feels so real, it's like he's in two places at once. He's happy, so happy. And the best part is that he isn't alone; someone is with. Yes, it's her. She's there. He sees her, he hears her, he feels her. They're walking down the streets of London together holding hands, talking, smiling and laughing. She lifts her head and touches his cheek as she kisses him. They pull apart; he takes his hand from hers and wraps his arm around her; she does the same with him and rests her head on his shoulder. He kisses her forehead as they continue to walk. Smithy is so happy to be with none other than Kerry, the only woman he has ever truly loved. They are doing so much together, it's like they're in place where time is not important. At night, they go out to the pub for a quiet drink all by themselves. They sit on the front of Smithy's car and look up at the starry sky pointing out bright stars and constellations. It's then back to Smithy's flat for something to eat. After dinner, they cuddle up on the sofa. Kerry uses the armrest as her backrest and Smithy uses her body for his. He is sitting at a lower level so she can wrap her arms around his neck and play with his hair. She kisses his head and even sings to him. She sings a song that says she'll always be with him and she'll always love him no matter what.

_Seasons are changing and waves are crashing  
__And stars are falling all for us  
__Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
__I can show you, I'll be the one_

_I will never let you fall  
__I'll stand up with you forever  
__I'll be there for you through it all  
__Even if saving you sends me to Heaven_

_'Cause you're my, you're my, my  
__My true love, my whole heart  
__Please don't throw that away  
__'Cause I'm here for you  
__Please don't walk away  
__Please tell me you'll stay, stay_

Her singing voice is so beautiful that it soothes him so much, more than he could ever explain. It makes him feel so relaxed that he could fall asleep, like she's singing a lullaby to him. She has more to say rather than sing now. He listens very carefully to what she whispers in his ear.

"You're my knight-in-shining-armour Smithy and you always will be. I love you."

Smithy feels such happiness beam through him as she says those wonderful words. He knows he wants to say something back. So he does.

"I love you too Kerry and I always will."

Kerry smiles at him. She lowers her head so that her lips meet his. They pull away and she wraps her arms right around him. He closes his eyes and relaxes in her warm arms. Suddenly he hears a noise. A beeping noise. He's opening his eyes slowly, they feel heavy. He looks around at what he can and does not recognise where he is. Until he realises. He's back in reality, he's in St Hugh's Hospital. He suddenly remembers what happened; the park; the stabbing. He feels an uncomfortable in his throat. He hears an unfamiliar voice calling out. A group of people surround him. He feels and sees a tube being removed from his throat and mouth. The tube is replaced with a much smaller tube, which is inserted in both the nostrils of his nose. It feels a bit more comfortable. He then sees Inspector Weston, but his vision is still blurred. He can hear voices, but they make no sense. He can't help but ask himself, why was his wonderful dream interrupted? And where is Kerry?

* * *

Inspector Weston stands out in the corridor as the single doctor in the room finishes her check up. Nate arrives. He is carrying a laptop with photos on the hard drive - one of whom is Smithy's attacker. Nate must ask the question.

"How is he?"

The Inspector is happy with the answer she can give.

"He's very lucky; he's in a serious condition now as opposed to critical. Go and see him."

Nate listens very carefully to the answer, but he doesn't think he can take in the last suggestion.

"I don't think so Ma'am."

He feels guilty; he feels he has let his Sergeant down. His Inspector doesn't think the same. She can see this is all very hard for him, so she tries to help.

"Do you need some time off?"

Nate cannot accept this.

"No Ma'am."

The only thing he wants is justice for Smithy, nothing else. The Inspector tries to make her PC think differently of what he's thinking now."If you can't be focused where you need to be Nate, it might be a good idea. We come on shift everyday, all of us, knowing anything could happen. Don't blame yourself."

He's listening, but his decision has been made.

"I can't go home Ma'am."

Inspector Weston realises Nate will not change his mind. She has no choice but to accept that.

"Okay, wait for me."

She goes into the room where the weak Sergeant lies. She's carrying the laptop. Nate remains outside; he feels too ashamed to even look in through the window right now. The Inspector stands beside Smithy's bed. Smithy's thoughts are now concentrated on the stabbing; he's put his wonderful dream of Kerry to the side for now. He's trying to cope with the fear he felt when the knife pierced through his flesh; he still feels that fear. With the Inspector standing him, he wants to say something about how he's feeling; he repeats something Nate said after he found him. But when he does, he manages to smile and give out a very light laugh.

"It looks worse than it is."

The smile then dies and the Inspector can see the fear in him. She knows she has a bit of good news and feels she should tell him, hoping it might bring him some comfort.

"The latest news is they found the knife."

Smithy feels a twinge of relief, but not a great deal. His attacker still hasn't been caught and he's still coping with the fear he's feeling. He nods his head.

"Good."

But there's more he must say.

"It was stuck in my chest."

The Inspector corrects him on where he was stabbed.

"You were stabbed there."

He cuts her off so he can explain what he means. And as he speaks, the fear shows itself in his face, his eyes and his voice. Tears swell in his green eyes and his bottom lip shakes.

"No I mean… it was stuck in there. And when he let go of it… it just stayed there. I could see it, I could feel it. And then when he came back to pull it out… there was nothing I could do… and I just thought… I just thought he was going to do it again."

Inspector Weston takes pity on him immediately. She knows he needs support and she knows he needs to know that he isn't alone. She tries to comfort him.

"I know, it's alright. You're with us, you're still with us thank God! And if you want to do these ids another time it's…"

She's feeling that maybe now is not the best time for him identify his attacker, but Smithy cuts her off again. He wants to find the youth who did this to him.

"No… no I want to get him, just do it now."

The Inspector can only respect his decision and gets the computer ready. Smithy is determined to catch his attacker for what he had done to him and before he can do it again to someone else. Nate chooses to look in through the window now. Smithy sees him. Nate sees the fear in his Sergeant's eyes and turns away. He still feels it's all his fault. But does Smithy really think the same? All Nate can do is promise both Smithy and himself that he will get whoever did this.

* * *

Once he has identified his attacker, Smithy is left to rest. He is later dressed in hospital bed wear and the equipment is detached from him, as it is no longer needed. He's lying alone in the hospital, drowning in his thoughts. He doesn't want to think about the stabbing anymore - he wants to think about her; Kerry. The happy dream of her had brought him such comfort earlier. And there was also the vision of her that had appeared to him after he stabbed. He had been overwhelmed by how beautiful she was. The beautiful angelic vision of her now stays in his mind; it makes him smile. Suddenly, sleep overcomes him. He sleeps and his mind and soul wanders off again, obviously to somewhere he wants to be. He's in his flat and yes, Kerry is there with him. They're standing just beside the bedroom door in each other's arms. Kerry is wearing a red evening cocktail dress and heels. Smithy is wearing a black shirt and his best jeans. They've obviously been out for dinner. Smithy takes Kerry by the hand and brings her into the bedroom.

He kisses her; his arms wrap around her waist. She wraps hers around his neck; her fingers run through his hair. He pulls away and brushes her hair away from her face, looking longingly into her eyes. She knows something wonderful is going to happen. She sits on the bed and lies down; her head resting against the pillows. She is giving herself to him. Smithy climbs onto the bed and moves over Kerry. He kisses her soft warm lips. She wraps her legs around his waist; she runs her hand down his shirt; she's unbuttoning it. She reaches the last one and his shirt is now fully open. He runs his hand up her thigh, absorbing the touch of her smooth skin, and moves his kisses to her perfume scented neck; she gasps in ecstasy. When he's finished, she pushes his shirt over his shoulder; he helps her to remove it. She runs her hands over his muscular chest; he presses her lips against hers after a moment. She reaches down and unbuckles his belt. His jeans are then unbuttoned and unzipped. She can only push them lower very little. He runs his hands up her legs again and pulls her dress over her head. He moves off the bed and removes his jeans and his boxers; he moves over her again and removes her underwear. There is no longer any material left to separate them. They wrap the covers around them. Smithy moves over Kerry and moves closer to her; their lips meet again, but then part. Kerry moans as she feels Smithy gently push himself inside her. He feels the goodness of the feeling too. She runs her hands over his bare back; he kisses her again. His fingers run through her hair. He slowly raises himself and thrusts into her again. She gasps and arches her back, so does he but only for a moment. The feeling passes him; he makes her gasp even more as he straightens himself over her again and kisses her neck. She can't resist the pleasure he gives her. He moves his lips over hers again and rolls over onto his back, pulling her on top of him. Kerry is now the one in control. She touches his face and runs her fingers through his hair; she pulls away from his kiss again. She gazes lovingly into his eyes and kisses him again. She pulls away from his lips and moves down to his neck, then lower. Smithy arches his back and moans as she runs her kisses all over his chest. She finally meets his lips again; he runs his hands over her back. He rolls over on top her again; he kisses her neck again as he thrusts into her another time. The lovers can only move in ecstasy as they make love for what feels like an eternity.

They later climax; Smithy rolls over onto his back and Kerry snuggles into his warm arms; her head resting against his bare chest. He tightens his arms around her, pulling her further into his embrace. He doesn't want to let go, she doesn't want him to let go. She's already falling asleep, so she whispers what he loves to hear the most from her.

"I love you."

It keeps him smiling, but a moment like this with her would always keep him smiling. He whispers back that he feels the same.

"I love you too."

She keeps smiling as she falls asleep. He kisses her head and looks down at her, smiling as he falls asleep holding the woman he loves. But the dream has reached its end; a visitor from before has arrived at the hospital. It's Nate. He has come to give his Sergeant some good news. Smithy is still sleeping when he arrives. He walks into the room and decides to try and wake him.

"Serge?"

Smithy instantly hears a sound; he can't quite make it out but it sounds like a voice. He's hopeful it's her, so he awakens right away to check for himself. He opens his eyes and turns his head to face the door.

"Kerry?"

He is disappointed when he sees it's not her. Nate is both confused and surprised. Why would Smithy think it was someone else? But he knew he had to greet him.

"No, it's me."

The disappointed Sergeant now feels embarrassed, but he must carry on. He then sees something to change the subject lying on the bed next to him.

"What's this?"

It's a 'Get Well Soon' card. He opens it and reads the message written by the sender.

"I'm sorry you got stabbed. My teacher says you won't die, thank you for what you did."

Once he's finished reading it, he hands the card to Nate.

"Girl left it, while I was asleep."

Nate opens it and reads the message into himself. He wants to tell Smithy the news.

"We got the youths who did it."

Smithy is surprised and lets the PC know how surprised.

"Blimey that was quick!"

Nate has more to tell, which is very naïve of course.

"You cracked it open with the photo fit; it all ran back to a stolen phone."

Smithy can only smile at what Nate has just said and gives his reply.

"A phone?"

Nate confirms it for him.

"Well that puts my mind at rest. I'm glad it was something important; four pints of blood for a phone eh?"

Nate lowers his head; he feels he should apologise for everything that's happened. He still feels it's his fault that his Sergeant was seriously injured.

"I'm sorry Serge."

Smithy hears him and only wonders what he apologising for so he asks.

"Now what are you sorry about?"

Nate only has one reply.

"This. It wouldn't have happened it I'd been with you. We chased the same bloke."

Smithy can't believe he's blaming himself; it's not his fault and he explains why.

"Now how do you know that? He had a knife and when somebody's got a knife, somebody else could get stabbed. Maybe if you had come with me, you'd be the one lying here now."

The young PC is listening, but stills feels guilt. He expresses a bit more.

"But I'm not."

Smithy explains more on why he's not to blame when hearing this reply.

"No, so be glad about that because it hurts like crazy and it messes with your head. Trust me, you don't need it."

Nate finally accepts the truth; Smithy being stabbed was not his fault. He's just happy that his Sergeant is alright and that he doesn't have any problem with him. He still has more to tell him though.

"Well, I've spoken to Inspector Weston; I'm staying on at Deansgate."

Smithy smiles again.

"And whose idea was that?"

Nate tells him what he wants to know.

"Mine."

Smithy feels proud and decides to pass on some words of wisdom to his PC, just like Sgt Bob Cryer did to him when he was a PC.

"You're starting to learn something."

Nate is confused.

"Serge?"

Smithy explains what he means.

"Sticking with something, shows worrying signs of maturity."

They both give out a light laugh. Nate says more.

"Pigs might fly."

Smithy can only agree with him.

"I'm counting on it."

Nate smiles at him for a moment; he then decides that Smithy should get more rest.

"Thanks Serge."

Smithy nods his head.

"No worries."

Nate walks towards the doors, until he realises there is one question that he wants to ask. Instead of walking out the doors, he turns to face Smithy again. He decides to ask the question.

"Who's Kerry?"

Smithy looks up at Nate when he hears the question. He feels there's nothing with answering the question. But should he include full details?

"Kerry was… she was a PC, friend and colleague at the station a few years ago. She and I were close."

Nate can see Smithy is holding something back; he feels he should do some investigating. He walks over to his bedside.

"Was she your girlfriend?"

Smithy realises Nate has figured it all out, so he can't keep anything secret. He decides to tell Nate everything.

"Yeah, she was my girlfriend. She was a lot more than that too; she was the love of my life and she was cruelly taken away from me."

Tears are swelling up in Smithy's eyes; he tries to stop them falling. Nate chooses to ask more.

"Why where is she now?"

This is the most painful part for Smithy; he has always hated reminding himself of this fact. But he manages to get the answer out.

"She's dead."

Nate suddenly feels bad about asking that question. He wants to let Smithy know.

"Oh… Serge I'm so sorry! I didn't realise."

Smithy nods his head in understanding. But he decides he doesn't want to stop there.

"She was murdered; she was gunned down in my arms by a sick, twisted, evil bastard who called himself a police officer and our colleague, simply because he wore the uniform. Kerry was and always will be one in a million. She was my angel, she always comforted me. She was the one I wanted Stevie to base her background on when we went undercover but, when it came to it… I just couldn't do it. I should've though, even if it was too painful and it hurt too much because there's so much I could've told her. Kerry… I loved her so much and she loved me. God I miss her! I miss her so much! I wish she was here with me now! Why can't I bring her back? Why did she have to go so soon? I need her! I need her more than anything else! My life's nothing without her; I'm nothing without her! All I've got left is the job and that's it."

By now the tears are pouring down his face; his bottom lip is shaking. Nate feels such sympathy for him. He wants to comfort him , but he doesn't know if it'll do any good.

"I'm sorry Serge. What did she do to deserve that?"

Anger swells in Smithy now, knowing that Kerry died for an evil and selfish reason. Should he tell Nate?

"She didn't do anything! That evil dirty piece of scum killed her to protect himself! He destroyed her life and she wanted him kicked out of the Force for what he did to her! Three months before he killed her, he raped her! She never reported the rape or told me about it; I don't know why. I never found out about it until after she died. But she found out he was working and living under a false ID. She was going to tell everyone, but he felt she had to be stopped and silenced. My Kerry was murdered for an extremely evil and selfish reason! And just when things between us were finally starting to happen. Our relationship was a bit… complicated, but it was still something special. We both loved each other, but I guess we were just too scared to admit it; I know I was. We slept together a few times, but it didn't really get us anywhere though; it just made me fall more and more in love with her. Really made me regret waiting for the right time to tell her I loved her. But in the end, when I finally told her, everything finally started working out; she told me she loved me. She said she didn't want to leave."

After speaking the last words, Smithy breaks down into tears completely. Nate looks on him in pity; he has never seen his Sergeant cry before so it's a new sight for him. But he knows it isn't a fascinating one. Smithy turns away from him and he realises this is a sign that he wants to be alone for a while.

* * *

Later, Smithy is alone again. He has fallen asleep. The tears have gone, but for how long? There's someone walking down to the corridor to his room, but who? The mystery visitor opens the doors and walks inside; someone is then sitting on Smithy's bed. Fingers touch his face and a voice speaks out.

"Smithy."

Smithy hears the voice; he recognises it. It couldn't be, could it? He opens his eyes and looks up. His heavy eyes widen as soon as he sees who it is. He cannot believe it.

"K… K… Kerry?!"

It's her. She's sitting on his bed smiling at him. She's wearing the clothes she was wearing the day she died. But she still looks so angelic and heavenly as she did before. She cannot stay silent.

"Hello Smithy. It's me; it's Kerry."

He doesn't know what to say; he's speechless. He has been wishing for her to be here, and now she is.

"How… is this possible?"

She keeps smiling at him.

"I heard your wish; I heard you call for me, so I came. Don't ever think I'm not listening to you because I am."

He reaches out touches her cheek. He's so relieved to see that she really is real; no one is playing tricks with his mind.

"I've been waiting for this moment since the day you died."

Tears of happiness are swelling up in both their eyes. Kerry holds the hand Smithy is using to stroke her face.

"So have I."

Smithy cannot describe how happy he feels; the love of his life is here with him now. Kerry wanted to visit him to bring him comfort. She leans in and gently kisses him; sure enough the warmth of her lips consoles him.

"So how are you feeling?"

He knows exactly how he feels now; not physically, but emotionally.

"Suddenly I feel a lot better. I missed you so much."

She can't deny that she feels the same.

"I missed you too."

She keeps smiling at him and touches his pale face, stroking his cheek with her thumb. It's such a wonderful feeling to be touched by her again; he puts his hand against hers. He then realises something; she obviously knows what has happened - why else would she be here?

"So you saw everything?"

There is only one answer to that question.

"Yeah, I saw it all."

Now that she's here, Smithy feels he can tell her anything. He always did feel he could; he always does everytime he visits her grave.

"I was so scared Kerry. The knife was stuck in my chest; it was in there - I could see it, I could feel it. And when he pulled it out, I thought he was going to do it again."

Kerry feels that maybe he should know the attacker's side of the story. After all, she knows when something's an accident and something's not.

"No Smithy, he wasn't going to do it again."

He looks at in confusion; how could she know that? So he asks.

"How do you know?"

She knows she must tell him what she knows for certain.

"I know because he didn't mean to stab you."

He doesn't understand what she means and why she's saying that.

"What do you mean?"

He's scared she's taking his attacker's side. Kerry realises this right away and knows she must help him to understand that it's not what she's doing.

"I'm not taking his side Smithy, I just know what it's like being a deliberate target and believe me, you weren't a target. He didn't set out to stab you, but he had a knife. It was to frighten the girl. He pulled it out because he thought it would help you. I saw the look on his face when he realised he'd stabbed you; he was horrified, he didn't mean for it to happen. Believe me Smithy, I know what it's like when someone deliberately hurts you."

Smithy understands. He realises he knows it too; thinking of all the other times when he was nearly killed deliberately. He can see she's right.

"So do I."

She chooses to explain more.

"This wasn't one of those times Smithy; I'm just glad you're okay. I never want to see you get hurt."

He nods his head in understanding and belief. But he knows something else; the fear he felt was without the same fear she felt when she was gunned down in his arms. He wants to tell her.

"The fear I felt when it happened, I realised it was the same fear that you must've felt when you were shot. Because when I held you in my arms, I could see how frightened you were and I could hear it in your voice as you begged me not to let you die. But Kerry if I could've saved you from that bullet, I would've. Now I know how it feels to be that frightened. I know how scared of dying you were, because I was too. But Kerry, what would've happened if I did die?"

He has asked the question; she doesn't know if she should answer it for it could upset him. But she can see how much he wants to know.

"I would've come back for you Smithy; I would've taken you home with me."

His eyes and face tell her the answer; his voice still speaks.

"Home?"

She only has one home, so she tells him where it is.

"Where I've been watching you all this time; Heaven. A place of happiness and peace, where evil doesn't exist and time's not important. It would've been just you and me."

He's listening to her, especially those last few words she spoke. Just him and her she says.

"Are you saying we would've been together again?"

She nods her head. True enough, this upsets him when he realises that he would've been happier if he had died.

"Why did I live? You're all I want Kerry, and this was my chance to be with you again. Why was it taken from me? Why did I have to live?"

He's upset. He wants to know why he survived; he feels has escaped death too many times now. She answers his question with the right answer.

"Because it wasn't your time to go Smithy, not yet. It will be someday but, not yet."

He wants to know when it will be his time.

"But then when?"

Sadly, she cannot give him the answer he wants.

"I don't know, I can't predict death."

Smithy feels angry and sad. He is wishing he had died; he realises dying will bring happiness instead of sorrow.

"Well then I should've died! I shouldn't have lived, I should've died!"

Kerry is horrified by what he is saying. He shouldn't say such a thing.

"No Smithy, don't say that! Don't say that. Be grateful that you did live."

Smithy does not feel grateful right now; why should he live more without her?

"But my life's nothing without you Kerry! Can you stay with me?"

The answer she must give him brings her great sadness.

"No I can't."

The same sadness overcomes him; he can't lose her again. He needs her. He holds her hand to show her and stop her from leaving him.

"No please Kerry, don't do this! Please don't leave me again! Stay with me! I need you!"

Tears are swelling in both their eyes. She wants to stay with him, but death cannot be reserved.

"To stay with you is all I want Smithy, but I can't. You know I never wanted to leave you. But I'm not really leaving you anyway; I'm your guardian angel Smithy, I always have been and we don't really leave the ones we watch over."

His mood suddenly changes; he feels more comfort from what she has told him.

"You're my guardian angel?"

He never realised he had a guardian angel. He has always hoped that she was watching over him. She sees that his mood is changing, so she tells him more.

"Yes. I'll always be with you, even if you can't see me or hear me or feel me. I'm always watching over you and I'm always loving you. And as long as you keep loving me, I'll always be in here."

She places her hand on his heart; he looks down. He had always known she was in there; it's where he held her. He places his hand over hers.

"You've always been in there and since the day you died, but since the day we first met. I've always loved you Kerry and I always will. And I will never love anyone else, especially the way I love you."

Kerry is only slightly convinced by that; he'd had other relationships after she died and it had looked like he really loved them. So she asks him.

"But… what about…?"

He cuts her off as soon as he realises what she's referring to. He must tell her the truth.

"No, no. I never really loved them; anyone I've been with after you, I didn't love them. You're all I ever wanted, but I couldn't have you and I couldn't get the comfort that I wanted; the comfort that you always bring. And I really did want Stevie to base her background on you, I really did! But I was too weak to go through all that pain and hurt that I went through when I managed to tell Nate the truth. I'm sorry Kerry. I love you and you only; I can never replace you, you know that. I love you too much to let you go."

She believes him. She decides she wants to tell him how she feels again.

"I don't want you to let go Smithy, but I do want you to live and be strong. And if not for you, for us; for our love. I love you too Smithy."

Smithy smiles; he feels truly comforted. He makes a promise to her; one he will not break.

"I'll live Kerry, I'll be strong… for you and for us."

She smiles; they look at each other with so much love. He strokes her face with his hand and she leans in to kiss him again. They pull away and he must ask a question.

"How long can you stay for?"

The answer she has is not too upsetting; at least she hopes it isn't for him.

"I'll stay for the night, but when you fall asleep I'll have to go. But you'll still see me in your dreams."

He remembers something; his dreams. He decides he should tell her about them and ask her if she knows anything about them.

"My dreams… I've been dreaming about you all day, but then I always dream about you. Did you make those dreams happen?"

She's only too happy to answer that question.

"Yes I did; I knew you needed comfort."

She had made those dreams; she wanted him to feel comfort and she felt it was the best way she could do it at first. He cannot be more happy than to have dreamt such wonderful dreams of her, although he always dreams of her when he sleeps. But there is one question he wishes to ask.

"They were so wonderful, and yet they felt so real. When you go, where will you be going?"

She smiles as she gets ready to answer the question.

"Where I can watch over you until we're together again."

There's only one feeling he feels when he hears those words.

"I can't wait for that day!"

She knows she feels the same.

"Nor can I. But to help make things a bit easier for us both, I have something for you."

Kerry takes his hand and holds it opened flat. She takes something from her pocket; she puts it into his hand and closes it so he's holding it. He brings closer to him and opens it. It's a locket; gold, in the shape of a heart with two hearts on the front. Kerry gives him a simple instruction.

"Read what it says on the back."

He follows it and on the back it reads: I am always with you and always watching over you. I'm your guardian angel. I love you. Kerry x

The beautiful sight and words brings tears to his eyes; this time, tears of happiness. She then gives another instruction.

"Now open it."

He opens it; inside is a photo. It's a photo of Kerry. Smithy can't describe how happy he feels, although it is odd that he doesn't feel embarrassed over being given a locket. She explains why she's giving it to him.

"It's to help you remember me by, so that whenever you feel alone, this will help remind you that I'm always with you. And I've got one just like it. I thought if we had matching lockets, people would see that we're two halves of the same soul. And it's for love, because love's all you need."

She clutches the locket she's wearing: she's right. It matches the one she's given him. She opens it and inside is a picture of him. He's so grateful that he can't describe how grateful.

"We are two halves of the same soul Kerry; we always have been and we always will be. Thank you darling."

"I don't suppose you would wear it would you? What if people see you wearing it? You were never really someone who would wear a locket."

Smithy looks at her with a grin and holds the locket to her. He nods his head. She knows what this means. Smiling, she takes it. She stands up off the bed and helps him move slightly forward. She puts it around his neck. He holds it in his hand when she finishes; he tells her how he feels as she sits back on the bed.

"I don't care; I'll just tell them the truth - that it's something I'll treasure for the rest of my life because the only woman I've ever loved gave it to me. I don't think I'll ever take this off. I will always treasure this; I promise."

She smiles and holds his hands.

"Thank you darling."

He hears her, but she's the one who needs to be thanked not him. So he tells her.

"No thank you for coming back and giving me the comfort I needed; the comfort no one else could ever give me."

They smile and lean in closer; they share another kiss, a kiss that neither of them will ever forget. Kerry moves up higher on the bed and Smithy moves over slightly to give her more room. She rests against the pillows and cradles Smithy in her arms; he wraps his arms around her and rests his head against his chest. He doesn't feel any pain from his wound as she touches him. This peaceful moment with her is all he wants, even if it won't last forever. He just wants to be pay attention to this moment until she has to go. He relaxes in the arms of his guardian angel.

* * *

Later, Smithy falls asleep. As soon as he wakes up, Kerry is gone. He is saddened by her departure, but he tries to understand why she had to go again. He is later moved into a ward; his strength is definitely returning for he is walking again. He manages to dress in his own clothes. The next morning when he is sleeping, Inspector Weston returns to check on him. She walks up to the bed; he doesn't wake. She turns around, then back to him when he grunts. He has woken up.

"You're not sneaking up on me that easy you know."

She takes in his little joke. She's please to see her Sergeant looking better.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. But then I didn't come all this way to watch you sleep. How're you feeling?"

Smithy is pleased to give the Inspector some good news, but gives some her more details.

"Yeah I'm alright. I'm a bit sore and the hole in my lung whistles when I breathe but…"

She smiles with laughter when he gives the jokingly description of his punctured lung.

"Probably best to avoid breathing then."

He laughs silently and nods his head; there's still more he has to say.

"Actually the doctor said that I might be able to go home tonight. Well he said 'next week' and I said 'this morning', we compromised and came up with 'tonight'."

The Inspector rolls her eyes, but smiles. She decides to offer him a lift home.

"Well if you let me know the time, I'll run you home."

Smithy's grateful, but feels he cannot accept it. He doesn't want to take up her time.

"Nah it's alright, I'll get a cab."

The Inspector insists on it though.

"I know you can."

Smithy realises he should accept her kind offer; she's only trying to help.

"Alright, when they tell me I'll give you a call."

She's happy that he accepts her offer.

"Good."

She then sees the card left for him. She picks it up and reads what's inside. Smithy has more to say.

"Nate came to see me; said he's staying on at Deansgate. And that it was his idea as well."

The Inspector confirms that it's true.

"Yeah it was."

Smithy decides to share his views on what he thinks of Nate's decision.

"Well I think it's good. And maybe it'll give him some new tools for his box."

Smithy is happy with the decision, but The Inspector doesn't seem to be.

"Like what? Nate Roberts, the listener."

Smithy notices her reaction; he wants to question it.

"You're not convinced."

Inspector Weston knows that she must explain her response.

"No I agree to it, I just… let's just say I think he's got a little way to go yet."

Smithy hears her; he adds to what she said.

"Well I think he's got a long way to go yet. But you've got to start somewhere haven't you? And the school seems like the ideal place."

She realises the Sergeant's right; she lets him know that.

"Yeah, I guess it does."

The subject then changes. The Inspector sees something she's never seen before; the locket around Smithy's neck.

"What's that?"

He realises what she's referring to; he takes the locket out from under his t-shirt. He shows it her.

"It's my most treasured possession."

She's quite surprised; she's never seen Smithy wear jewellery other than a watch. This is new, so she decides to ask questions.

"I've never seen you with a locket before! It's beautiful. Where'd you get it?"

Smithy now feels he has the strength to answer that question, as there is only one answer. He knows he cannot lie.

"My girlfriend gave it to me."

She is surprised even more; it seems there are many things she doesn't know about one of her best Sergeants.

"I didn't know you were seeing someone."

He knows he must explain more to her.

"It's not really like that; she's dead."

Inspector Weston suddenly feels bad for asking so many questions; she knows that she must let him know that.

"Oh I'm sorry. How long ago?"

Smithy is thinking of how it doesn't seem so long ago that it happened.

"About four and a half years now. That's still hard to believe."

Inspector Weston feel sorry for him, but she decides to ask some more questions.

"When did she give it to you?"

He smiles after she asks that question; the answer makes him happy.

"Before I answer that question, let me ask you something first. Do you believe in guardian angels?"

She pauses; she thinks if she should tell him or not. She chooses to.

"I do yes."

The young Sergeant is happy with her answer, for he feels that he can tell her what happened. He begins to explain.

"Well I found out yesterday that I have one - and it's her. She came to see me yesterday. Now you may think I'm crazy, but she was here. She came back to comfort me and she did it; she always gave me comfort. Look read the back."

She follows the simple instruction and reads what's on the back of the golden locket.

"I am always with you and always watching over you. I'm your guardian angel. I love you. Kerry x"

Smithy explains more of everything he knows.

"I didn't know angels could come back and visit you, but she did. She came down from Heaven for a while to be with me. I'm glad I know Heaven exists. But there was something she said that helped to not be afraid of death."

The Inspector is quite fascinated by his story; she actually believes him. She wants to know how Kerry helped him to not be afraid of death.

"And what was that?"

Smithy knows what his answer will be.

"She told me that if I had died, she would've come back for me and she would've taken me to Heaven with her. We would've been together again, just me and Kerry; we would've been happy and at peace. I'll always miss her, but I know she'll always be with me."

She thinks the romance of what he is telling her is beautiful; she then grows more and more curious.

"How did she die?"

He has already told one person this painful story, so he feels he can do it again. But the tears do swell up in his eyes again.

"She was the police officer who was shot dead outside the station in October 2004. I was with her when it happened. We finally admitted we loved each other and then she was mercilessly gunned down in my arms by that evil scum David Kent! I'd take it you know all about him and all the crimes he committed."

The Inspector doesn't like some of the stories she'd heard about Sun Hill, including the one Smithy is telling her now about one of the most corrupt officers ever.

"I do yes."

He feels the anger swell up in him again; but he carries on.

"He's not someone I like to talk about; he's not someone I like to remember either. He ruined my life and he ruined Kerry's. Being stabbed, it made me think of the day Kerry died. I held her in my arms as she was bleeding to death from the hole in her chest, I listened to her beg me not to let her go and I saw how frightened she was. It was the amount of blood she lost, that's what killed her. But if the Super had have just let the ambulance through, she'd still be alive. I stayed with her till the end; I was there when she died. And she died in this very hospital. I watched the doctors try to save her, but they couldn't. And the fear Kerry felt when she dying in my arms, I felt that fear when the knife went through my chest. I was scared to die, but thanks to Kerry I'm not anymore. She's made me realise that there's good waiting for me when my time comes. Because she'll be there, she's waiting for me. So I know death won't bring me sorrow and pain, but happiness and joy. And if you've got someone waiting for you, then death will bring you the same when your time comes."

She is amazed by the knowledge he has gained from Kerry. She does have someone she was close to in Heaven.

"My dad's waiting for me; he died of cancer when I was 17."

Smithy wants to express his sympathy when he hears this; at least he has something good to say as well.

"I'm sorry. But know this when your time comes, I'll bet you any money that he'll come back for his little girl and he'll take you home with him. Because I'm sure he's your guardian angel, just like the love of my life is mine."

She is very grateful; she feels better about death now herself.

"He is, I know he is. And I'm sorry about Kerry."

Smithy is grateful to her for her support and tells her.

"Thanks."

* * *

Smithy is discharged from hospital that very evening. Nate comes to take him home, as the Inspector cannot make it. Once at home, he relaxes and lounges about for a while. The trauma of the stabbing has definitely passed and he has one person to thank for that. He looks at his locket and the picture of Kerry inside. There is another picture he also looks at. A framed photo on his mantle piece of him and Kerry at a party some years ago. He picks it up and sat on his sofa. He stares at it, thinking of how happy they both look and how much he loves her. For Kerry to have come back and say she still loves him, his fears have been healed completely; he is soothed. When he goes to bed, he puts his locket on his bedside table; it's left open so he can see the photo. He looks at it as he falls asleep. He is soon fast asleep, falling into more wonderful dreams of his beloved Kerry. He never thought he would be consoled by an angel; his angel - his guardian angel.

_**How was I to know that an angel would come calling for me?  
How was I to know Heaven was so close?  
I can feel your love all around me  
I can feel your love surrounding  
Heaven sent an angel into my life**_

**The End**


End file.
